Oikos is Greek for Puke

COMMODORE'S CONSUMER CORNER

Today's product review:

Chocolate flavored Oikos Triple Zero Greek Yogurt

Have you ever eaten anything and immediately wanted to return to college and get a degree in English because your current vocabulary is insufficient to describe how terrible it is?  If not, then you've never tried Oikos Triple Zero Chocolate Flavored Greek Yogurt. It tastes like what I imagine the underbelly of a forest creature might taste like.  A forest creature that crawls with its belly on the dank forest floor, upon which many animals have pooped.

"Hey guys, Bill from product development here.  Can you go into the lab and find a way to combine the sickening flavor of artificial chocolate with the sour taste of bile?"

"Um, we can do that, but why?"

"Just trying to prove that Americans will buy anything."

I have no idea why there was a container of chocolate flavored Oikos Triple Zero Geek Yogurt in my refrigerator.  Jessica tells me my sister wanted some but couldn't find it in any stores in Kearney so  she bought it to see what it tastes like.  Yes, you read that right.  The city of Kearney, Nebraska cares enough about its citizens that it won't even allow this to be sold there.  I gave it to my independent taste tester, a child who eats anything. Here is his reaction:

Basgusting. That is the word I was looking for.  This product is basgusting.  No need to go back to college.